When I meet new clients, a big part of the initial conversation is getting a sense of what they’re looking for, their boundaries, and their desires. Two of the most common (and problematic) phrases I hear are: “I’m into everything” and “I have no limits.” You might think these responses make you seem adventurous or open-minded. In reality, they raise immediate red flags.
Let’s dive into why these broad claims aren’t as appealing or safe as you might think.
Claiming You’re “Into Everything”: Adventurous or Problematic?
At first glance, someone saying they’re “into everything” might seem enthusiastic and eager to please. The problem, however, is that “everything” covers a vast range of interests, kinks, and activities… many of which are quite niche or even extreme.
When someone tells me they’re “into everything,” my first reaction now is to list the most obscure or extreme scenarios I can imagine. And, quelle surprise: almost immediately, their enthusiasm fades. Suddenly, they’re backtracking. Why? Because nobody is genuinely into everything.
Why This Matters: Clarity and Communication
When getting to know each other, clear communication is essential. It’s perfectly acceptable, and even encouraged, to be unsure or open to exploration. Saying something like, “I’m still discovering what I enjoy,” or “Let’s explore that together,” is authentic, inviting, and respectful. But saying you’re into everything sets unrealistic expectations and can create awkward or unsafe scenarios.
The Danger of “No Limits”: Safety Comes First
The other things that gives me big pause is someone claiming they have NO LIMITS. Boundaries exist for a reason: primarily safety, but also comfort and mutual respect. If you genuinely have no identifiable limits, it signals one of two things:
- You haven’t thought through your own safety and boundaries.
- You’re unwilling to communicate clearly about your actual comfort levels.
Both situations make engaging with you less appealing and less safe.
Why Clear Limits Are Essential
Having limits isn’t restrictive; it’s a sign of maturity and self-awareness. If you can’t identify even one thing you’re uncomfortable with, it immediately makes me uneasy. It means I can’t trust that you’ll clearly communicate if things become too intense or uncomfortable. Trust goes both ways, and respecting boundaries starts with clearly defining them.
Furthermore, your inability or unwillingness to discuss limits openly suggests you might not respect mine. And mutual respect is non-negotiable.
The “Do Anything You Want” Paradox
Another frustrating scenario is when someone says they’re here to “serve” or they’ll “do anything I want”—but only within a very narrow set of unstated preferences. It’s irritating, misleading, and ultimately, a waste of everyone’s time. It comes across as disingenuous or manipulative rather than eager or submissive.
If your submission or openness has conditions (and it’s perfectly fine if it does!), you owe it to yourself and your partner to communicate that clearly upfront.
Healthy Communication is Sexy
Instead of trying to appear as though you’re limitless or universally enthusiastic, consider honesty and clarity as genuine turn-ons. Admitting you don’t know your preferences yet, or sharing your true boundaries openly, builds trust and creates a foundation for meaningful interactions. Communication is an essential part of intimacy, especially when exploring new dynamics or desires.
Final Thoughts: Boundaries Make Play Better
So, the next time you’re asked about your interests or limits, resist the urge to be overly broad or impressively unrestricted. Realize that setting boundaries and communicating clearly doesn’t make you less exciting! It makes you trustworthy, approachable, and genuinely attractive. Authenticity will always win out over vague promises or hollow enthusiasm.
After all, boundaries don’t just protect you—they enhance the experience for both parties, creating room for deeper, safer, and more fulfilling exploration.
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